A Family Story, Part II

From r to l: Mike, Ryan, Jasmine & Kiki

I was 11 when I left my mother’s home.  Before then, my older sister  would come check on my little brother and I, making sure we had food.  And when I left, moving between 4 different foster homes until landing at the last one at age 14, it was me who who looked after me, me who did for myself.  

So family, is for me an interesting word.  What is family if it does not offer the protection and nurturing it should?  And who decides what you owe anyone, especially when not anyone feels they owe you?  

At 16, I started working, first fast food - you know what it was, Mickey D's - then retail, even bartending.  I was blessed to meet a gentleman or two along the way, who truly helped me.  But family never took care of Marlo.  And Marlo did take care of family, even at 17 driving to different Foster Homes, visiting my nieces and nephews, always helping them, loving them, taking them out to amusement parks and to have fun.  I did for my mother; she could always count on me, I would always look after her.  Her house is paid for and furnished by me, and she could always count on me to give her money.   

But none of these things brings family together - if anything, it only tears them apart...

My glamorous girls...

Me with Francheska & Francis

Having spent my teenage years in Foster Care, I am very passionate about working with young girls in the system, and offering them support and opportunities they may otherwise not have.  I do this through my Glam It Up Campaign through which some of my Glam It Up girls participated in the ATL Celebrity Kids Fashion Show.  Four young ladies became models for a day to promote empowerment and wellness for children. 

The girls were beautiful and poised and they absolutely shined as they modeled beautiful dresses by designer Jayne Finne, of the Melissa Jayne Boutique.  Thank you Miss Finne, for letting these young ladies sparkle in your pretty dresses!

Thank you, Caitlyn, Francheska, Tamara, Francis, Thakia and all the young ladies for beings such lovely models and doing such a great job!  You give to me more than I could ever give to you...

A Wonderful Mother's Day

  Daniel, Emma & Me

 

I had the best experience the other day.  With the help of the Frank and Wanda morning show, I was able to make two mothers very happy.  You often hear people say how rewarding it is to give, and I experience that joy every time.  It makes me grateful to be able to give and reminds me of my many blessings. 

We asked for women to tell us their stories and why they should win a beautiful handbag from me. We heard from mothers with special needs children, being role models by going to school full time, yet being devoted mothers and great wives.  Their husbands appreciating and admiring them. 

There were single mothers tending to sick children, unable to finish their own education, unable to take out time for a date, always taking care of others.  There were single mothers, struggling with their own illness, troubled children, never even having the time to cope, barely able to see their way through. 

There were magnificent women, strong women, devoted women, women finding strength when all of their resources are failing them.  I was so inspired and moved,  grateful that they would share their stories with me.  I want to thank you, all of you mothers, for all that you do for your families and all that you do to remind me everyday of the gifts we all have.  Thank you for allowing me to share a little piece of me with you.  I hope I made you smile...

Cinderella's Shoes

  Via Instagram

 

These were my first pair of Louboutins.  A present, from a gentleman friend.  I had until then, mostly worn Stuart Weitzman.  Louboutins were still a dream.  But then he came with my golden slippers, and with them, a door to a new life.  He wanted me to look beautiful for our date that evening.  He wanted me, like Cinderella, to feel transformed.  So he bought these for me and life was never the same.  I will always love them, my first Louboutins, for they represent the future I did not yet know I had...

A Family Story, in 3 Parts

Via AP

 The stories all have the same plot lines.  They may start with a lottery win, a professional sports contract, a platform in entertainment.  One person creates for themselves the opportunity.  One person makes sacrifices and works very hard for opportunity to come their way.   One person carries the weight, the pressure, the expectations, yet everyone feels they deserve the spoils.  The one who is working, struggling, and sacrificing, they want the opportunity so that they can share.  But simple math does get in the way. 

If only one person is earning and one person is dividing, giving as much if not more than they receive, eventually there is nothing left to divide.  The stories teach us that all money can come to an end.  All resources can be drained. 

I choose not to be that story. But that's only the beginning.  What happens after you make that decision, and how those around you react, is what comes next.  I will tell that story in 3 parts...

 

Solitude...

I am taking some time away again, and enjoying some great quiet moments.  It reminded me of something I read once by Patrick Suskind, but told my own way...

Sometimes people seek out solitude monks, priests, adventurers. They retreat to the woods, remote islands; maybe high in the mountains swaying in the breeze. They do this to be nearer to God or to please God. Or they wait months, years, for their solitude to be broken by some divine message, bringing them to enlightenment.

My solitude is of a different kind.  Sometimes I withdraw solely for my own pleasure, only to be near to myself. No longer distracted by anything on the outside, I bask in my own existence and find it splendid. I lay quietly, hardly breathing, my heart hardly beating but yet I am as alive and intensely  as ever, as intensely as if I were listening to great music and dancing...

I wish all of you a beautiful moment of solitude.

Confidence

I wanted to share with you a letter I recently got from someone who is trying to find herself.  She said she had survived a number of setbacks, both physically and emotionally.  She said she could not yet see the light.  I was so moved by that.  There are many people like you out there, not knowing how to make that first step.

The first step is to look in the mirror and to tell yourself, you love yourself.  You don't just do this once, it is your first step every single day.  Second, do not underestimate the power of God and the power of faith.  Anytime I go to church, or read my bible I find meaning and strength in the word. 

Third, it has always helped me to feel better when I look better.  Taking care of yourself, especially during difficult times, is important!  This does not mean spend money.  It means, put on your best dress, style your hair as best you can, make an effort to look the best you can.  You have to believe in you before anyone else can.

Putting yourself in surroundings that make you happy is also important.  For me that is being with children. Last year, some friends and I rented a big van and took their children to a cabin in the mountains.  We cooked, we laughed, we played, we had a great time.  It gave me the comfort of family - that closeness and togetherness that I love so much. 

These are the things I draw strength from.  I wish for you, who wrote to me, and all of you facing difficult times, that you might take some of these and start to create and live a better life!  We are all so much stronger than we know...

A Riddle

 

If you call a woman who receives gifts from men, an escort and a hoe, what then, do you call the men who only date a woman because of the gifts she buys them?  Do you call your boyfriend a hoe since he no longer has a job and cannot afford the trips you take him on and the house you live in?  Since you do not mind paying for him, judging me seems hypocritical.

And more importantly, we hear about your money, your status, your accomplishments.  But we wonder, why does a woman who is so accomplished, who has such status, never have a man on her level?  Those of us who live in Atlanta, do have the answer to that.  We know your reputation outside of the music that you have made.   And what we know is that you are not in a position to call anyone a hoe....

Our story is already written.  Whatever we receive was for us.  And all of us receive different gifts.  Continue to live your life without concern for other people's gifts.  I only wish to congratulate you on yours.

 

 

Relief

Photo by Pamela Mougin

You can tell it had been bothering me.  That comment about the "hole."  It was so rude, so condescending.  And until now, I had not had the opportunity to speak on it.  So when I finally could, I did and it was a relief.

The thing is, I couldn't understand that of all people, the judgment would come from her.  You were a mistress and you have children by 3 different fathers.  Let me be very CLEAR so that we can all stay completely focused - this has nothing to do with the children, they are precious and innocents in all this.  This has to do with character.  I do not feel that this character, is in any position to speak about me and definitely not in that way. 

I do not fight on Twitter, making nasty comments about people, then try to hide by not using their handle.  When Marlo has something to say, she will tell you directly.  And sometimes direct talk can sting...

Grievances

Photo by Pamela Mougin

 

There is something to be said for letting things out in the moment you feel them, and then moving on from it right away.  The Smalls had clearly been holding a lot inside.  Though there were moments when they seemed to stand apart, in their attacks on Nene they  aligned from the start. 

I have to say, I was shocked that anyone would try to use children as a line of attack.  Isn't that bad etiquette to try to embarrass someone's child?  Though Nene read her nicely, still it should never have come to that.  Seems dangerous ground to tread when your own children are still young; who knows what the future might hold for them...

It was a spicy start to the proceedings, it only gets better...