01/27/2012

Aggression and its lasting Influence...

She said to me: thank you for setting back the women's and civil rights movement 100 years.  I thought about that and about the women; amazing women, powerful women, inspiring women who are all, every day, making a difference and moving us forward.  I would not dare think myself capable of having enough impact to undo any of their hard work.

What did have impact was my life with Emma.  My mother did always give us the best.  She always kept a nice home, and she always had us in nice clothes.  She also liked to drink and get high and she liked to gamble.  She and my step father would stay out late and if they won, they were happy.  That was a good day.  They would wake us up and take us to IHOP to eat.  But if they lost, they would quarrel.  And quarrels would sometimes lead to fights.  Things would escalate quickly, and the reasons for why could be as simple as: she told him not to cook her steak. 

In the early hours of that morning they had started quarreling even before they got home.  She wanted to stay out and drink, he was ready to come home.  Once home, the quarreling continued.  He was hungry and wanted to eat.  She did not want him to make the steak.  He did anyway.  And when the steak was cooking and he got in to the shower, she went after him...

Eventually, I was taken away from my mother and the chaos that was our lives.  But the impact of those details, of the events that were a part of my life, that stayed.  It stayed even after I left home, after 7 foster homes, after becoming independent and finding my way in the world. 

The impact of my earlier life is the wounds that have not fully healed.  For those, I still need time and still need to do more work to not expose them.  If I continue to work on me, maybe you will see how much I want to move forward,  not that I want to set us back...



Comments

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Thanks for sharing your story.. You got My Vote!

Marlo, first I want to say that you have come a long way....however you have gotten there. I believe that people can change if they want to and I admire you for being the person you are and not worrying about what anyone else has to say about you. It has to be a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but keep you eyes on the prize. Because at the end of the day, you only have to answer to God.

And this has nothing to do with this, BUT your house is simply fabulous. Beautiful color scheme and all. But can you please tell me what is the name of your drapes they look like Roman shades. And I know they are custom, but I want those. Thank you and stay blessed.

I hope you don't take her comment to heart because you alone can't change the hard work and sacrifice from those who came before us. I've been where you've been in life when it comes to dysfunctional families but I never let it define me because I refuse to be a prisoner and a victim of those circumstance in which I had no control over. When I became a mother I ensured that my own children would never witness that. Faith to endure any kind of hardship is courage to succeed and we've all gone through our fair share to come out on the other side ok.

Thank you Tiffiny, I will certainly continue to keep my eyes on the prize and remember the encouragement from people like yourself. My blinds were custom by SmithBoyd Interiors. They did spectacular work for me, beautiful attention to detail, please visit them!

The comment that she made was pretty ridiculous and actually makes no sense. If anything, you exemplify what those women stood for - which is moving forward in the face of adversity, standing tall and strong, and not letting past experiences hinder them in their future accomplishments and successes. xo

Amen sis.

Your vulnerability is a beautiful trait because you are such a strong woman. The two co-existing characteristics, not to mention style and grace, create a wonderful storyline for black women. You are every women and continue to strive for more in all that you do. Your story....today's, yesterday's and tomorrows will serve as a testament to his Glory. Keep shining! Keep winning! Anything else would be un civilized! :-)

You are truly a fabulous woman inside and out; you do not deny your past (you shouldn't) but you do not let it define you. You have worked hard to get where you are and for that you are an inspiration.

Set the civil rights back 100 years? Huh? Wait...Am I on sweetie's blog ?

Okay, if you're a gladiator, I'm gonna be Cleopatra.

And it's up to you who plays the asp...

Marlo you are a beautiful person, everyone makes mistakes alot of folks overlook their indiscretions and quickly point out someone else, keep being the beautiful woman you are we are all a work in progress, and the main thing is your continously working on progression... God Bless you..

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