10 posts from January 2012


From me to you...

It is with great disappointment in myself and sincere regret that I would like to issue to my friends, my most ardent supporters, and my followers, this statement:  

I would like to offer from the bottom of my heart the fullest and most heartfelt apology for my recent use of an anti-gay slur.  When I used this word, I was not mindful of the demeaning connotation that this has in the gay community.  My speech was irresponsible, thoughtless and said with the intention of conveying anger rather than as a statement on my feelings towards the gay community as a whole.  

My first action, after the incident was to contact my closest friend and assistant of 8 years and to confess what I had done, to express my sadness and regret, and to ask him for his forgiveness.  I was devastated at the thought of having hurt or embarrassed him as well as any member of the gay community and relish this opportunity to publicly apologize.  My friends have embraced me, supported me, withheld judgment of me and have meant a lot to me over the years.  I would never abuse their kindness and friendship and would never want to hurt them or demean them in any way.  

I applaud and admire this community for their triumph over a sometimes harsh, mean spirited society that discriminates and even violently attacks those who are different.  These are obstacles that I relate to and that I have been inspired by them to overcome.  I celebrate this community and am saddened by any indication otherwise, that my actions may have caused.  

I look forward to continuing to build my strong relationship with you, my followers and supporters, and those of you who do not yet know me and my heart.  I look forward to work to regain your trust, respect and your love which has so empowered me over the years.  I also thank you for allowing me to address you personally and to let you know how deeply sorry I am.


With Love,



When what you speak is different from what you mean...

Sometimes we speak and what comes out of our mouths has nothing to do with why we are speaking and how we are feeling at the time.  Sometimes we speak without thinking.  Sometimes speaking does the opposite of what we intend. 

It had been simmering for weeks.  First the questions, then the rumors, then their eyes.  There had been coldness, divisiveness and bitter talk.  I was sunny all the while.  I love travel, I love my friends, and I had felt sure that this was an opportunity for laughter and fun, not a continuation of what we left behind.  I considered it a fresh start.  I quickly saw my hopes dashed and what I saw was 10 days of nastiness and games ruining what could have been amazing.

You should know that because of my past, I actually avoid arguments and strife.  I am usually the first to step away from situations where there is a chance for things to get out of control.   In my own way, what I wanted was to put an end to what was simmering.  I thought that by confronting it, we could lay it to rest.  I admit, I did not succeed. 

I succeeded in hurting people who mean the most to me, people who had no part in what took place.  I wish to be more succesful in my words being true to my feelings.  I wish to use words to do exactly what I want them to - to represent what is loving, accepting, open and giving about me - letting go of what is damaged and still incomplete...



Aggression and its lasting Influence...

She said to me: thank you for setting back the women's and civil rights movement 100 years.  I thought about that and about the women; amazing women, powerful women, inspiring women who are all, every day, making a difference and moving us forward.  I would not dare think myself capable of having enough impact to undo any of their hard work.

What did have impact was my life with Emma.  My mother did always give us the best.  She always kept a nice home, and she always had us in nice clothes.  She also liked to drink and get high and she liked to gamble.  She and my step father would stay out late and if they won, they were happy.  That was a good day.  They would wake us up and take us to IHOP to eat.  But if they lost, they would quarrel.  And quarrels would sometimes lead to fights.  Things would escalate quickly, and the reasons for why could be as simple as: she told him not to cook her steak. 

In the early hours of that morning they had started quarreling even before they got home.  She wanted to stay out and drink, he was ready to come home.  Once home, the quarreling continued.  He was hungry and wanted to eat.  She did not want him to make the steak.  He did anyway.  And when the steak was cooking and he got in to the shower, she went after him...

Eventually, I was taken away from my mother and the chaos that was our lives.  But the impact of those details, of the events that were a part of my life, that stayed.  It stayed even after I left home, after 7 foster homes, after becoming independent and finding my way in the world. 

The impact of my earlier life is the wounds that have not fully healed.  For those, I still need time and still need to do more work to not expose them.  If I continue to work on me, maybe you will see how much I want to move forward,  not that I want to set us back...


Goodbye Belgium...


Belgium was so sweet to me.  He had seen my distress, was worried for my emotions.  He knew that what was whirling around me was untrue, undeserved.  He felt protective of me.  He thought that what I needed was to get away.  To be among friends, a beautiful setting, a bit of adventure and of course a bit of what brightens every girl's day - shopping.  He took care of me and provided me a safe place to go.  He knew what I needed without me having to say it.  He knew what I needed without me having to ask.  I thank him for that, I appreciate him for that.  Because if I have to ask, you are not the man for Marlo....



When in Belgium, must see Paris...

We decided that since we were so close, it would be nice to spend some time in Paris.

First we enjoyed a beautiful dinner at L'Avenue on Avenue Montaigne. 

What is Paris if not the perfect setting for romance? 

What is more romantic than a suite with windows framing

the Eiffel Tower?

And how does one leave Paris, without a stop through

bliss, beauty and joy...


I shared with you a peak into my closely guarded closet.

You may have seen a hand bag or two,

maybe even a few pairs of shoes.

But a spell was cast over my closet

Valentino is its muse...


 Goodbye for now Paris, I'm sure we will see each other soon.

Get ready South Africa, are you guys coming along?!



Musings on Belgium...

If you've been following me on Twitter,

you know I'm having a little adventure.  Belgium called,

and I answered.  I thought I would share with you a taste

 of Belgium...Fashion, of course, came to mind first!

Clever & powerful,

Maison Martin Margiela S2012 RTW


A little bit of edge, but also

a hint of sweetness...

Anne Demeulemesster S2012 RTW


Romance, beauty, elegance,

Olivier Theyskens for Rochas F2005 RTW


Wish you were here with me!




When Caesar built the coliseum...

He offered to the mob of Rome mindless entertainment.  He distracted them with games and spectacle while he took away their freedom.   They would be seduced by the sight of blood, gladiators fighting to the death, while he solidified control over the Roman empire.  He would give them death and they would love him for it.  Are you not entertained?

We, who choose to enter the ring, to distract them, the mob, we cannot blame them for their thirst for blood.  We must let them have their theatre, make them believe they own that which they are being fed.  One scene and they are filled for many days.  Pictures for them to dissect and analyze.  Words for them to chew on and spit out.  Mugshots, felon, criminal - oh, but to watch them pounce on a carcass, strip it to the bone and shred it to pieces. 

Is she or is she not to be seen?  They did not want her, she did not fit, she did not belong.  A trap was opened for them and they went to it willingly, never knowing she had simply stepped aside to let them fall.  Maybe, she understood what it was to be a gladiator, maybe she was not willing to become enslaved for the amusement of them all.

I see hunger in their eyes, they will not settle merely for blood - death is what they have come to watch.  I will wage battle for them.  I will endure their sticks, their stones, their sharpened weapons because freedom is still there for me to be had.  Eventually, I will remove my armour and they will find out who I am.  And when they do they will chant 'live, live, live.' 

I trust they will see why I have come to the ring, great victories already won along the way.  They will find out I have heard words far sharper than theirs, seen hungrier eyes.  I know they know not what they speak.  All that is required then is my patience, with patience I will continue to rise.


In Response....



For Immediate Release




Atlanta, GA – (January 12, 2012) – “I am shocked and saddened to hear of the recent distortions of events and false accusations disseminated over an altercation I was involved in over a dozen years ago.  It had been my preference, out of respect for the person involved, as well as her family, to not speak about this incident publicly, but the recklessness with which the story is being manipulated has forced me to come forward.


I was in my early twenties, and what took place started out as an argument with someone who was once my friend, over the phone.  In the first incident, I was ambushed at my house and badly beaten.  Though charges were initially filed, those charges were later dropped and I filed a restraining order.  As disturbing as the carrying of a weapon may seem, it was quite common in the environment in which I was raised, and not only I, but also the person involved in the altercation, had each brought weapons to protect ourselves.  There was a confrontation, her knife dropped, mine did not. 


I was arrested and convicted of aggravated battery for which I served 6 months in jail.  What is so disturbing about the false reports now circulating is that it was she, my friend, who appeared in court on my behalf and fought to reduce my sentence. 


Like many people, I was deeply saddened by her untimely death - 6 years later - and shocked at the recent attempts to connect me to it.  Ultimately, it does a disservice to her and her family, to guess and draw conclusions as to her state of mind when she committed suicide.  Those reasons are obviously personal and painful and do not deserve to be speculated on for the purposes of entertainment or drawing readers to your site.  She and her family remain in my prayers.


My attorneys will be sending a cease and desist letter with a request for retraction shortly.” 


Say what now?


This is me at 4 years old.  Like many little girls, I had my hair combed and twisted into ponytails - often accompanied by tears - and I remember how much I loved to play with my dolls.  I look at me, and I see that innocence, the same as every other child.  I see eyes that don't yet know judgment, hate, cruelty and it's aftermath.  Those eyes that do not yet know that innocence will soon be taken away.  

It was a rainy day - the whole day had been cold and wet and gray - and I had looked forward to being picked up by my mother.  I was in Middle School, maybe 11 or 12, and was eager for the sight of her blue Cadillac.  I waited for her.  She never came.  A neighbor saw me waiting, and was upset about me being there after school, out in the rain.  She offered to take me home.  The scene plays quietly in my mind still, there is no sound, only color.  Me, walking through the front door, then the hallway, then opening the door to my mother's bedroom.  Him, beating her, savagely, unrelentingly, hatefully.  There was so much blood.  My neighbor had somehow come to her rescue just in time, because if she had not picked me up when she did and if I had not opened the door when I did...He stopped, and we were left to live with the blood, the bruises, the helplessness.

Darkness came and I did the best I could with chaos.  Some call it excuses and I understand.  There are those among us who are more perfect than me, who saw trouble and steered clear.  But for me there always was trouble and then I got into trouble and trouble was slow to disappear. 

If you are interested to know who I am and how I came to be, if you are curious and open, I have stories that I will tell.  Stories that, rather than excuses, are insight and an explanation.  They reveal me, the truth about me and all that I am.  I have stories I will tell and when I tell them you will see more of me in you than you know...


Happy New Year!


I hope 2011 was a wonderful year for you and that 2012 tops it!  I hope in 2012 we get much better acquainted.  You have seen my closet, heard some of my musings and asked many questions.  You have offered me a place to put down my thoughts and to really introduce myself to you.   And y
ou are coming into my life at a wonderful time, a time of transition and a time of self-development and growth.  A time of reflection too.  

Recently I found an old picture.  It reminded me of who I was then; a young girl, responsible and motivated, already enrolled in college, and quite strong to be so young.  I had already seen so much!  I had already celebrated many holidays without my own family.  I had already experienced foster care and 
never being raised by my father.  I remembered sometimes seeing members of his family at the local stores - he lived in the same town - and they would recognize me because I have his nose.  I remember the days of 
wishing that we could be a family, but knowing that would not be possible for us.  That young girl in the picture, she would be scared to know some of the obstacles that would lie ahead, but then she would be happy to know the joys that would come too.  Moving to Atlanta, becoming a stylist, then an entrepreneur and now this truly big leap to a stage that is new to me; strange, and a little bit scary.  

I have thought about what I need to change this year, what will be important for me to stay true to, in this year of brand new possibilities.  Listening, is what I came up with.  In listening I can best see what is being revealed to me.  In listening I will hear even that which goes unsaid.  In listening I will have the opportunity to be thoughtful.  In listening I will choose the right path...

I am sure there will be times that I will need you to hold my hand.  Thank you for taking this journey with me...I imagine it will hold some unexpected, but blissful things too.