01/08/2012

Say what now?

  IMG_9729

This is me at 4 years old.  Like many little girls, I had my hair combed and twisted into ponytails - often accompanied by tears - and I remember how much I loved to play with my dolls.  I look at me, and I see that innocence, the same as every other child.  I see eyes that don't yet know judgment, hate, cruelty and it's aftermath.  Those eyes that do not yet know that innocence will soon be taken away.  

It was a rainy day - the whole day had been cold and wet and gray - and I had looked forward to being picked up by my mother.  I was in Middle School, maybe 11 or 12, and was eager for the sight of her blue Cadillac.  I waited for her.  She never came.  A neighbor saw me waiting, and was upset about me being there after school, out in the rain.  She offered to take me home.  The scene plays quietly in my mind still, there is no sound, only color.  Me, walking through the front door, then the hallway, then opening the door to my mother's bedroom.  Him, beating her, savagely, unrelentingly, hatefully.  There was so much blood.  My neighbor had somehow come to her rescue just in time, because if she had not picked me up when she did and if I had not opened the door when I did...He stopped, and we were left to live with the blood, the bruises, the helplessness.

Darkness came and I did the best I could with chaos.  Some call it excuses and I understand.  There are those among us who are more perfect than me, who saw trouble and steered clear.  But for me there always was trouble and then I got into trouble and trouble was slow to disappear. 

If you are interested to know who I am and how I came to be, if you are curious and open, I have stories that I will tell.  Stories that, rather than excuses, are insight and an explanation.  They reveal me, the truth about me and all that I am.  I have stories I will tell and when I tell them you will see more of me in you than you know...

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Marlo, what an adorable picture of you as a young girl.

Well firstly, I just have to say that.... you missed your true calling. You should be a writer!!! Your prose writing style is just incredible. I truly love the way you recount a story. You make the reader feel like he/she was there.

You've been through SO much - and have yet risen past it and emerged all the stronger, wiser, and incredibly beautiful (inside and out). I'm a psychologist on a DBT ward, so i work with young ladies all day who have been raised with similar troubled backgrounds... but they've made different choices with their lives and it's unfortunate. I really love and respect the fact that you have your foundation where you work with girls and mentor them and show them that life does not have to take a certain path because of difficult beginnings. That type of guidance from a positive role model is so necessary.

Love your honesty and candor! You always keep it so positive.

Yakini, I did not know you worked with young girls. It is by the grace of God that I was able to get to okay from where I came. Making what others consider the right choice can be very very difficult. I love our mutual commitment to changing young lives! Thank you for your encouragement and kind words.

IS THAT WHY YOU SLASHED MIA'S FACE?????

Beautifully written! Maybe thats why I can relate to you! I saw this so often in my household as well when I was small. I always tried to ignore the sounds by playing with my dolls and ignoring what was going on in the other rooms. God Bless! xoxo

You are inspiring! Kinda like "Rags to Riches". You should REALLY write a book. I know I would read it.

Tami, it could be that some of what we felt as little girls, always stays with us. Maybe then, we recognize it in others and without even knowing why, we are drawn to them. I thank you for being my friend and for sharing with me...

For you above with the sly remark about her slashing Mia's face. First of all so what. They got into a fight. Didn't Mia get some licks off of Marlo? What in the hell was Marlo supposed to do? Stand there.

God gives second chances to use all, so leave her alone about that bullshit. Hell you all ack worst than she do. Brining up shit from 20 or so years ago. What did you do in your past. Hell, you do not know what you will do in the future.

Thank you for sharing! I understand trauma in childhood, slipping up later on, being judged, & quietly attempting to triumph in later years. Some will judge me forever, and as such will miss out on knowing the older wiser unapologetic lady & professional that I have become. You successes now are yours alone Marlo. Your amazing style is lovely, and your hair and make up are flawless. Your admitting your past, yet executing ongoing grace in your present are commendable.
Rock on Marlo!

Well said, Marlo. We should meet soon, I feel we have so much in common and can get far in life together as close friends and sisters...

Marlo I love your positivity despite the media's need for drama! From your past to your preent, you are a true role model. You give me that drive to push for my dreams and aspirations. Wishing you all th best in your endevours. Continue to be blessed and continue to be a blessing to others *smile*

Marlo you are so beautiful, graceous, and fashion savy. I was intrigued by the writing and poise of your style. When I saw you on RHOA and you were doing the charity thing I was like who is this lady? After my google search: still I felt something is in her eyes that has me calling Marlo... I think curiousity perhaps? Then I saw the episode on your house tour: I thought classy and so me...who is this Marlo? Then I saw your eyes again and I said she's like me... telling my story in a different version: only until you offered NENE that Chanel bag did I see. So four days I searched and seached until I found apart of Marlo i was looking for. Awesome job for standing and being you.

ur life story makes me cry. becuz its mine 2, out of all thm things on tht show ur the best, u came in real, they say kim&kroy r geting there own show well i like 2kno who bravo thinks is going 2watch it ??lol now U.!!! im praying 2GODinJESUS NAME !!! THT U GET UR OWN, BECUZ U GOT IT GOING ON!!!LOVE U ...MARLO, & WELL KEEP U IN PRAYER...

Marlo,

I would love to hear more of your story. Something inside of me says I can learn and grow alot from you. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Wow ,I see you in a very different light now. You are an amazing women.

HEY MARLO,
I MUST ADMIT AT FIRST I DIDN'T LIKE YOUR CHARATER,OR WHAT THE MEDIA MAKE U OUT TO LOOK LIKE.BUT ON TODAY WHICH IS MAY 11,2012.I HEARD YOU ON V103 GIVING AWAY STUFF TO MOTHERS FOR MOTHER'S DAY,I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO NICE,THATS WHAT MADE ME COME TO YOUR WEBSITE.AND I MUST SAY I AM VERY IMPRESS,I JUST COULDN'T STOP READING,GIRL I SEE U ARE BEAUTIFUL ON INSIDE AND OUTSIDE.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!I HOPE TO SEE A BOOK COME OUT SOON IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE THAT IN THE MAKING.....THE WORDS JUST COME OUT BEAUTIFUL.

I LIKE THE TITLE...THAT ADDRESS ...THE, "SAY WHAT NOW?" YOUR MORE THAN CLEVER ,YOUR EXTREMELY ARTICULATE....AND TRUTHFUL. YOU HAVE NO REASON TO DODGE YOUR PAST. IT, ISN'T THE HERE AND NOW, BUT, IT'S THERE...OVER THERE. YOU TELL A STORY THAT PEOPLE CAN RELATE TO. YOU ARE HUMAN.. WE DON'T HAVE TO WALK IN YOUR SHOES TO KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH. THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND THE CLARITY OF YOUR LIFE STORY. YOU ARE DESTINED FOR GREATNESS.

The comments to this entry are closed.