When what you speak is different from what you mean...

Sometimes we speak and what comes out of our mouths has nothing to do with why we are speaking and how we are feeling at the time.  Sometimes we speak without thinking.  Sometimes speaking does the opposite of what we intend. 

It had been simmering for weeks.  First the questions, then the rumors, then their eyes.  There had been coldness, divisiveness and bitter talk.  I was sunny all the while.  I love travel, I love my friends, and I had felt sure that this was an opportunity for laughter and fun, not a continuation of what we left behind.  I considered it a fresh start.  I quickly saw my hopes dashed and what I saw was 10 days of nastiness and games ruining what could have been amazing.

You should know that because of my past, I actually avoid arguments and strife.  I am usually the first to step away from situations where there is a chance for things to get out of control.   In my own way, what I wanted was to put an end to what was simmering.  I thought that by confronting it, we could lay it to rest.  I admit, I did not succeed. 

I succeeded in hurting people who mean the most to me, people who had no part in what took place.  I wish to be more succesful in my words being true to my feelings.  I wish to use words to do exactly what I want them to - to represent what is loving, accepting, open and giving about me - letting go of what is damaged and still incomplete...

 

Comments

[Yakini]

We have ALL said things in the heat of the moment, and afterward asked ourselves how did we let those words cross our lips. Happens to the best of us, lady. *raises hand* I know i have! Not proud of those times, but it is what it is.

I find solace in knowing that those who care for you and are your true friends know your heart! xo

[Shun Hill]

Marlo -

For every new level, there's a new devil. Have you ever heard of that before? Marlo, you did nothing to warrant being treated the way you were on that trip. As a grown woman, you shouldn't have been subjected to the childish antics of Candy (who's still upset with your answer & rebuttal from her show and the party yall were at) and from the JEALOUS antics of Sheree who clearly has no apparent reason to dislike you. She caused DIVISION among the group by inciting that negative conversation between Candy, Phaedra and herself. She incited more division by constantly only inviting Phaedra and Candy ONLY to these exclusive events on a 6 woman trip...I mean that's childish as hell. Why even schedule stuff like that when you're supposed to be bonding with your old friends? So you calling out Sheree was totally warranted and understood because she is a real drama starter & she perpetuates it. I am not impressed with her behavior by calling you out and slinging mud...did she not expect for you to not sling mud back? Marlo, you were defending yourself and your reputation.

Pretty girls who have it going on ALWAYS have to prove themselves and defend their honor to those who are jealous for no reason. I understand your pain. I deal with similar situations all the time. Women are just petty, you know? And the fact that she commented on your love life and how you allegedly "came up" further proves she is jealous, petty, and WISHES she still had that good life, but it's all gone...

You keep doing what you're doing because God will continue to keep you in your fabulous place...because he put you there. I know he did. I believe you...

From one adopted girl to another...I understand you Marlo. Keep being REAL.

[tonya]

Marlo no need to explain but I understand cause he has been good to you. When you . When you have the wall and been in a place for a while its hard to adjust to socialite, especially publically. Its okay and when you do the reunion show choose your words carefully and b the diva u created yourself to b. It a growing place. Love you

[Darius]

Straight up idiot. If someone called you nigger, you would let it go that easy. So why do you think the gay community would? I don't know you personally, but I have attempted to assist you when you came into my place of employment. You weren't o. The show then, but you were still very rude. You try teaching peoe manners, then you remind people of your criminal past. Marlo you make no damn sense !!!

[FAGGOT]

Is that supposed to be an apology, you bigot? You owe ALL gay people a unlicensed apology. Not a retweet from a gay person. Go to hell, trash.

Marlo don't feel bad or sad about how things went in Africa! Sheree needed to be told the truth and I'm so glad God used you as the mouthpiece to do it. Eventhough you both got out of control, dealing with a woman like her and Kandi will make you go there. It doesn't matter how you got your money at least you know how to use it and make it work for you. You have a nice crib and nice wardrobe and they are all haters! Kandi is hating on you because she's is miserable and finds joy out of other people's misery! I'm proud of you and introducing NeNe to your cicle of friends was so awesome! Keep doing you and forget the ignorance of others. You said what needed to be said to Sheree because she needs a reality check and you gave it to her tonight! Team Marlo!

[Francoise]

Marlo, your thoughts are so a propos...

You should know that in spite of the hurtful words and the lurking comments about your past, your grace comes through and you shine!!! And though the show may not present evidence of this, I truly believe that you are more than meets the (camera's) eye!

We should all take notice of your acute candor and the honesty with which you communicate - even when you err! Your genuine disposition is real... And though it is easy to focus on your obvious qualities - your fashion sense, strength, passion, beauty, intelligence, etc... one must not dismiss your resilience in times of struggle and your ability to overcome and to create a new resolve, a more successful path...

Many of us will never quite understand or appreciate your journey... And for every mistake you make, take the time to recover quickly and to appreciate the many times you make a difference! Tonight's display was surely an error - but in the end, I am sure that it is not a measure of who you are... for it is through error that we learn to succeed!

Thank you Marlo! And even when it does not seem so, know that you inspire!

[Khori]

Marlo,
As human beings, no one is perfect and I admire you for owning your past mishaps and moving on to do bigger and brighter things. You are beautiful both inside and out... I am a RHOA fan and I have come to enjoy you being on the show and hope to see you go on to do bigger and better things!! You and NeNe seem to have a genuine friendship and I pray you guys continue to prosper in your friendship beyond the RHOA..... May God bless you in all your endeavors...

[Rob Rumsey]

Oh Girl!!! I am a gay man and was VERY disturbed by your use of the word FAGGOT. It even looks ugly when I sit here and type it, but it was more painful to hear. This gay white man looks to the strong black women in this world as inspiration to let me know I too can walk with strength, confidence and deserve respect. I see myself in you as I am sure many who truly look at themselves do as well. I too grew up in a troubled household and I have struggled with my anger a defensiveness issues. I began changing that in my early 30's. I also see that you are trying to make positive changes in your life in terms of your behavior. I see glimmers of it on what I know is a HEAVILY edited television program. Just remember a few important things, your struggles can turn to your strengths and your actions will define you. I have respect for you women that put yourself out there for all of us to view-Having said that, you have a responsibility to yourself to be the best YOU and show the world your past is just that-The past. People can learn from you and be inspired. Many blessing on your journey.
Rob

[LnaWill]

Marlo love you at the level you are on lady! Everyone has a past and you have to learn to be better not bitter. Last nights' episode is a genuine example of how fast things can get out of hand and in the end hurting people hurt others. PAIN should be spelled PIAN to define why (P)ersonal(I)nsecurities(A)lienate(N)ormal ways we look at things and innocent people get hurt. Once spoken its hard to undo regardless of the intent. Your comment wasnt meant to hurt the gay community but some will take offense to it. You had never met her friend so of course the remark wasnt aimed at him. In the same note Sheree' was being mean spirited by not including you because she cant stand tobe upstaged and is dealing with her fear of her own financial distress. When you have what they want its a problem.
In every bit of criticism is a bit of truth. Your lifestyle has proven that you overcame your mistakes and has prospered in a manner where you can live comfortable. You owe noone an explanation for how you accomplished anything.
You as well as the gay community can come to terms together to stop apologizing for who you are. DO YOU-BE YOU and be proud to be an overcomer. It takes a strong person to overcome a past and still smile.

[Dionna]

http://youtu.be/zElitBBrbxI

[P.A.]

You are trash. That is all!

[kisha Moore]

Marlo,
Im sure you didnt mean that statement you made. In the heat of the moment we are bound to say the strangest things and forget whos watching. I was upset and I dont even know you personally. Even if you declined the invitation she could have asked to you to attend, especially when everything was made cool on the boat. I admire you for not caring about your criminal record.....its like you stand tall and say "SO WHAT, IM BAD EITHER WAY IT GOES" I love your style and hope you stay on the show....seeing as NeNe maybe leaving. Lawd, if she leave, you are the only one that can replace her.....KNOWDAT! LOL...

[Marlo]

Ohhhh, Miss Dineva redd me didn't she?

[@fashionsflyest]

Marlo I love you and yes I am a homosexual and I did not take offense to what was said. people need to realize EVERYONE says things they don't mean out of anger and that's just the bottom line.

P.S. - please wear some Theyskens Theory and Victoria Beckham collection! *muah* <3

@fashionsflyest

[September]

Why are you so thirsty ?

[Tonya]

I just find it annoying that people who post negative blogs about "word choice" and they do the same. I pray for the bloggers who do not know how to express themselves in a manner that is suitable for all to read. You may not agree but to be "nasty" is a spirit only the devil delivers.

[Harriet]

I can't believe most of the comments and advice given to Marlo. Based on what aired on RHOA the other night, Marlo initiated the confrontation with Sheree. I am not a big fan of Sheree's either, but Marlo, the etiquette expert, showed no sense of decorum upon hearing Sheree didn't extend an invitation to the dinner party to her. She was so outraged she never heard Sheree when she told her she could attend. Marlo immediately went on the defensive calling Sheree names and making all kinds of accusations. I know the show is intended to entertain viewers and we love the drama but Marlo overreacted. To think her reaction was justified or in any way correct is imprudent and in poor judgement. She was definitely WRONG. Sheree was NOT wrong to not invite Marlo to the dinner party, that was her call. Her decision should have been respected,,,end of story, Marlo was NeNe;s guest. She was not invited to South Africa and didn't contact Phaedra, who planned the trip for the other women which would have been proper "etiquette". If anything, Marlo should have sat quietly and kept a low profile as she was an interloper and completely out order given her decision to join the group uninvited. I hope she publicly apologizes to Sheree and the group as I'm sure proper etiquette dictates.

[SAM]

Harriet, I have to agree with you. Well said. She was the main one preaching etiquette lessons, yet she behaved in the most unladylike manner possible when confronting Sheree'. Marlo, that was not a good look.

[lannette]

I hope Marlo can see what we see. You are not a good fit for the show, go to another reality show that's all trashy and little substance and show off your bling there. I appreciate your struggles but I really dont want to see any more of you. I cringed when I watched in a quick instance you go from having laughter time and conversation with nene to enraged and name calling sheree however in that same instance, sheree showed you that she is no punk. good for her. nene should have never invited you without the permission of the others. nene knew you and sheree would bump heads, she knew it!.