02/19/2012

Labels, Hair, Make-up, Joy

MARLO_HAMPTON-3Photo by Pamela Mougin

 

This past week has given me pause.  This week I was forced to confront darkness and its sometimes catastrophic outcomes.  What is the impact of loneliness, fear, sadness and yearning, and how does what is bottled up inside manifest itself?  I thought about coping, searching for the light anywhere you can find it and what that means for me.

Clothes is where it started, but pretty things of all kinds would soon take over as family, and a connection to them, became more and more fleeting.  Pretty hair would follow clothes, then furniture and eventually a pretty home.  My family, or rather, various members of it, would at different times fall into drug addiction, nieces and nephews would follow into the foster care system, and love, the true kind, the kind I had searched for my whole life, never came.  More and more I needed to fill the emptiness, and cars and trips and expensive food and labels would have to make up for having less. Clothes were my refuge, clothes were what I could have, clothes had to fill the void where a mother and a father, a loving home, and a family should have been.

Even today, on a bad day - and there are still quite many - when I need to fill myself up, when I need to smile and feel what real happiness could be like, I walk into my closet.  That’s when I perk up and I feel grateful, for I do have many blessings and I do have a place to go that is pretty, filled with pretty things that when I put them on, make me feel good.  That’s when I feel everything will be okay.  It is how I cope, and it is how I try to help others cope.  Sometimes feeling pretty can be all you have and if that is so, then that is what I want to give to them.

Clothes are important to me and they lie at the core of who I am.  But I know that there will come a day when I will have the most precious label of all, one I have searched for my whole life, the one I will be most proud of.  One day, I will have a family and I will speak about them glowingly, I will show them off and I will go to them when I want to smile.  I can’t wait to see this design...

Comments

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Very beautiful and insightful writing Marlo. I'm truly touched. This is very transparent and vulnerable of you. Femininity at its best. Thanks you for sharing. Keep it coming...I'll keep visiting.

It is amazing, the beauty that springs forth in your writing. Your way with words, your intellect, your candid nature all come effortlessly and full throttle just as your fashion does when you enter a room. Your an expert at reminding us all that this very thing is why we shouldn't judge a book without reading the story. Everybody has a story, and yours is as important to tell as anyones. Keep doing what you need do for Marlo, and when other things fill the void, you will grow beyond it if you so choose. Everytime I read your "musings", I become more in awe of the human mind, and the beauty that is woven in us all in one way or another. If you wrote a book, I'd read it cover to cover. Your topics ring true!
Peace and blessings
Dee
CheapFabMom

We all have things that make us feel good and make us happy and make us smile. As you've stated, for you eventually that will be your own family, but I think until that time you should continue surrounding yourself with beautiful things, whether they be clothes or paintings or sculptures or shoes or whatever it is that one enjoys collecting. Art comes in many forms (including fashion/haute couture), and why should we apologize for loving that?

I craved having my own family as well, and it was essentially my "goal" while I finished grad school. But meanwhile, I found solace in my vintage doll collection - I poured a LOT of money and time and care into that collection, and I still have it and love it today. Folks didnt understand why it meant so much to me, and probably even thought I was wasting my money/time, but it wasnt for them to understand.

I dont think the fact that someone has a love for something "material" is wrong. We all enjoy what we enjoy and it's a personal choice.

Marlo admire your transparency, that's why I read your blogs and comment. I connect many ways emotionally with you. KEEP sharing, I feel like I have a friend and we never met. When I wake up and I dont feel so great or look so pretty, I'm reminded of my new end get it together for Ms. Marloould step out fabulously! So thanks for being you. Now Stay centered to Jesus as he will give you the desires of your heart!

Marlo.. That was it girl!

That was an aha moment for me.. This is exactly how I feel.

Thanks so much for sharing your stories, I look forward to them.

Blessings!

Thank you for allowing your writing to bleed. I am a writer as well and you are extremely talented and quite vulnerable in your scribing which makes for an amazing read. I totally get where you are coming from with the clothes. People are always ready to attack but don't realize or care that a person may be coming from a place of "hurt"....Continue to be resilient, blessed and beautiful...My father always says, "Jealousy is an evil rage" so forget the naysayers....You're like a "friend in my head" to me and I enjoy your blogs and your perspective immensely.

Excuse Me Marlo, I 'm French, I see you in real housewives of atlanta, and just want say: you're amazing, beautiful and pfffffffffffffffffff oh my God beautiful style perfect style I kiss you Marlo GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU!!!

This was nice. I wish the girls would try to get to know you before they pass their judgement.

Marlo, as I've said before, we share the same b-day. I used to be into fashion too. Something happened in '90 that changed my whole scope on fashion, hence, I threw 'labels' to the wind. Now, I could care less about my appearance. But the thing with that is, I only replaced one addiction with another--food. I'll detox from this addiction too, one day soon.

But I love how you expressed in this blog that there's a backstory (a reason) for EVERYTHING, even materialism. We're all trying to fill some void or another; and we fill it per our affordability. And your resources, clearly, has afforded you PLENTY. Smile.

Blissings to you. I'll always read your blogs, as long as they're up. Thanks for sharing so openly and generously.

L.T. <3

Marlo, I like what and how you write. But there's a part of me that wants you to stop and save it for a book. Blessings...

DeeCee, how cute is that?! I am flattered that you would even think I could write a book and thank you for enjoying my writing. But trust me, if I were so blessed to have an opportunity to write a book, I have many more things to say. I promise I will not give it all away!

I respect this Marlo, thanks for sharing. With these word we, the veiwers, can understand and relate to you and your struggles. God Bless

I can't wait til you have a baby!

I'm sorry that clothes are the core of who you are. Remember the story of the Emperor - he was foolish behind clothes - or lack of, in the end! They are material things, and they change, and others determine what clothes are appropriate and fashionable. On the brighter side, I am glad that you look to eventually have a family, which is more valuable and fancy than any piece of clothing will ever be! I think this is why I like you - there are times when you seem shallow, but deep down inside, I know there is a part of Marlow that knows better and aims higher. Take care!

Hi Marlo: You should find a beautiful church home and you should attend every Sunday looking your best for God... Then you should ask God for a family and you should be very clear in your asking.. Then watch God show up and show out... Girl it will be beyond your expectations... Try God.. I do every day. I don't have a lot of labels or a lot of clothes. However, I have Peace and Love. Yes I have a loving husband who I adore so much and he adores me too. I have one daughter who's 18 now wow!! and I inherited 4 other children by my hubby who are all beautiful and about to all be 18 in two years!! They will always my children. However, I enjoy married life. My husband is my bestfriend. We hang tight. He's also a church going man and he can sing... he's everything that I asked God for in a husband and more... Blessings

Hello Marlo, your writing is beautiful but only GOD can fill that void. In due time. I do understand that you are not there yet, I will definitely not judge. But keep praying, BELIEVE and have FAITH and you shall receive. You are a beautiful woman with beautiful things. When I saw you with your date (the caucasian male) I said to myself, look at her poise. This woman is smart! She knows when and where, some of the other ladies don't and I think you know what I mean ;) God bless with everything. Let me save up so I can buy something from your closet lol

Wow! Marlo, this speaks to me. I truly connect with your message as well as your pain. I am waiting for my someday as well.

Marlo, I am sending you light. I saw you on the the reunion and wondered how someone so beautiful could seem so cold, and then I found your blog. You are not cold at all, but beautiful on the inside (which is most important), vulnerable and smart.

The most important label is the one you create and give yourself. You have everything you need inside. All the external will manifest from that. You already know the material is transient, but really fun sometimes :). As someone who also lost her family at her young age and dealt with her own struggles, I definitely understand and feel where you are coming from.

I salute your honesty *hug*.

Marlo,

The void you need to fill in your life will be found in Jesus Christ our Savior. He is the only one who can give you true joy, happiness and unconditional love. I pray that you find Him and get to know Him for who He is because in doing that, I promise, you will find yourself. I will keep you in my prayers. There is no better feeling than knowing you have a true relationship with our Creator. He knows your name, He knows your every thought, He sees each tear that falls and He hears you when you call.

Nice article, thanks! I learn something new on blogs everyday and yours is stimulating and provides new ideas. Thanks and keep up the good work!

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