03/11/2012

Schadenfreude!

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Via newmillfordctpress

Today I learned a new word, 

schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\ , noun: A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.  I learned that when people around you do not mean you well, you must not give them the tools with which they can trip you up. 

Some time had passed since my mistake.  To be honest, I had hoped that with it all taking place on a different continent, maybe it would not have traveled back home.  There I was, all dressed up and ready to play - I expected the evening only to be fun.  But she had been waiting. To look at it now, she had it all planned out.  She had as fast as she could made sure to tell on me, and like a vulture circling its prey, she had chosen the optimal time to strike - when I least expected it and was defenseless.

I did not want to lie.  I wanted the opportunity to explain and to say sorry.  But I couldn't, because she was there, gloating, so eager to bring my mistake to light.  I felt ambushed, backed into a corner.  Her smiling face was so hateful, so cunning.  What strikes me, looking at it now, is that her friend is not even her concern.  In her enthusiasm to set me up, she actually delighted in the pain that my actions had caused him.  And as I watched her eyes sparkling with the taste of revenge, I chose to take her sense of schadenfreude away a little bit by denying what happened.  I could not, in front of her, so thirsty to embarress me, admit to my mistake.

But I never forgot that I made a mistake, I never forgot my guilt.  I left the party and immediately called Miss Lawrence.  I admitted to my mistake and I apologized for hurting him.  Like a true friend he listened and he was open to receiving my apology.  He forgave me.  For that I love him.  He did not rejoice in seeing me stumble.  He does not take malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others.  For that I respect him.

 

Comments

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I felt that Miss Lawerence knew what you were doing and that is not giving Sheree the satisfaction....I understood completely.

I am so glad you handled it that way. You are 100% correct, she had no concern for Miss Lawrence's feelings, she just wanted to start confusion. A 42 year old woman, running back and forth starting drama. It is so sad that a woman of that age, is so immature. Elegant and sophisticated, I think not.

FUCK SHERAE SHENAENAE WHATEVER HER NAME IS SHE IS A REAL BACK STABBING BITCH THIS YEAR WHEN HER LIFE AINT DOING TO GOOD SO SHE CUASE PROBLEMS FOR EVERYBODY ELSE FUCK HER!

I couldn't have handled it better Marlo. You looked fabulous and you handled that situation in a fabulous way. I like that you joined the show. I like that you NeNe and Cynthia are cool fabulous ladies. Keep up the good work girl. And remember if you got 100 haters you need 100 more...

I haven’t had a chance to see.. I will watch tonight on my DVR..

But what I will say.. I pride myself and thank God for having a good judge of character.. I have never liked that girls character!.. she is so miserable in her own skin.. she is insecure for obvious reasons!! and it’s just her spirit that is all wrong.

“VENGEANCE IS MINE”, sayeth the Lord.. so what she thought she was doing was getting you back but what she did was set herself up for failure..

We need to pray for her.... funny looking self!

Stay Blessed Marlo!

We saw the growth and elegance way to go Marlo

The best way to disarm an enemy is with the truth. I was taken back while watching when you denied saying it. I get your rationale above but in my opinion standing behind your actions, explaining and apologizing in front of her would have been better. Ms Lawrence would have accepted your apology, you two would have hugged and kisses… and you then you would have truly taken her sense of schadenfreude away.

I totally agree with you Marlo. I actually feel sorry for her. She's trying to get everyone back - you for laying her out and Kandi for not sticking up for her. I think she was embarrassed and hurt, because everything you said about her was true. If you really look at it, she's the only one out of the group of women who doesn't have much going on. She's jealous and spiteful - how else do you explain why she would run and go tell everyone what was said about them? What fool would say anything around her now?

Yeah, it was very clear that Sheree was more invested in making you look bad than in the feelings of her friend. We could all see the gloating smirk on her face... and I can understand why you didnt want to give her the satisfaction in that moment!

The important thing is that you called your friend afterward and spoke to him about it one-on-one, which is how it should have been handled from the beginning... not the public scene she tried to create at the party! Just tacky.

1. Let's be clear, Marlo, you used a slur. You used a word that is just as hurtful, hateful and dirty as the word Nigger. Yes, it appears that Sheree was deriving some sort of pleasure by bringing up your use of the word to Lawrence, but, if you're so above Sheree, this should be of no concern to you, you shouldn't have even noticed. Your reflex reaction should have been to say sorry immediately, because it's about Lawrence, not the satisfaction your apology would have given to Sheree.

2. Funny: You criticize Sheree for not being concerned about Lawrence's feelings, but the fact that you state in this article that you didn't want to admit your mistake right then because you didn't want Sheree to succeed in embarrassing you, show's that your regret of using the slur is less important to you than immediately admitting fault in front of Sheree. Seems to me like both of you didn't have Lawrence's feelings in mind. That shouldn't be. Your ego, is not more important that apologizing for using a slur.

3. Any use of the word Faggot is unforgivable. Just like it's unforgivable to use the word Nigger. It's show's classlessness and crudeness on the part of the user. Freud had a theory about slips of the tongue- they're actually the speaker's true thoughts and feelings. You said to Sheree, "...You hang around with faggots..." As someone who watches the show, I'm pretty sure you were referring to Lawrence. It's sad to know that in the privacy of your mind, you attached such an nasty adjective to someone you call a friend. What would you think of someone who said to a mutual friend of yours " You hang around with Niggers", and it was plain to see that they were talking about you, Marlo? Would a sorry really be enough? Or would you forever know what type of person they really were? Using Faggot or Nigger, is not a mistake. Stepping on someone's toe is a mistake. You said Faggot when you were having a heated argument. When you were in a fit of anger and trying to find the meanest, hurtful thing to say to Sheree. Its sad that Faggot would come to mind at a moment like that. It says a lot.

it's a shame that you considered your being embarrassed before just stepping up and apologizing to lawrence. why does it matter that sheree was trying to get you back if you actually did say the word? what does sheree motivation have to do with you using such a bad word? you said it, didnt you? you should have said sorry, to lawrence, whether sheree was there or not.

actually, you should have called lawrence from africa the night you said what you said, because he was going to find out whether it was from sheree or from watching the show.

but i guess you're too caught up in not letting sheree have her way to put lawrence's feeling ahead of "embarrassment". I'm sure there's an etiquette book that covers apologies.

how sorry could you be for using the word, when you said it again multiple times again at the party?

why didnt you ask sheree to excuse u, and pull lawrence aside and speak to him about it then and there? oh yea, i forgot, you were too caught up in not giving sheree her way.

save it marlo, no one with a brain and manners believes you. that includes lawrence, no matter if he said that he fogives you. trust me, he doesnt. a word like that should never come out of your mouth. ever. ever. ever. there are some things that you should never have to say you're sorry for because you shouldn't have said/done it in the first place.

what about those politicians who send racist emails about the president? according to you, if they apologize, we should forget about it, right?

o please. save it. but not to worry, marlo, there's lots of people like you in the world, you have company.

Umm...using the word faggot IS as bad as saying nigger. I honestly thought when Marlo did use it to be hurtful when she said "that's why you ain't got no man....go hang with them faggots" was her way of saying, you don't have a man and the only man that wants to be around you is the gay man you hang with (who don't even want you like that) JMO.

Marlo you did a great job by talking to your friend. You going to have haters always because you are a beautiful woman. I wish you was my mentor. I live in Atlanta Ga I would love to meet you someday and chat. You welcome to email me if you can at toushagautier88@yahoo.com

I totally get it, Marlo. It was hurtful to say it, but you said it in anger. And you obviously regret it. The best way to handle it would've been for Sheree to speak to you privately before she spoke to Miss Lawrence. It could've been handled discreetly. You have to question the motive for her bringing it up like that. BTW I'm enjoying your blog and following.

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