Today I learned a new word,
schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\ , noun: A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others. I learned that when people around you do not mean you well, you must not give them the tools with which they can trip you up.
Some time had passed since my mistake. To be honest, I had hoped that with it all taking place on a different continent, maybe it would not have traveled back home. There I was, all dressed up and ready to play - I expected the evening only to be fun. But she had been waiting. To look at it now, she had it all planned out. She had as fast as she could made sure to tell on me, and like a vulture circling its prey, she had chosen the optimal time to strike - when I least expected it and was defenseless.
I did not want to lie. I wanted the opportunity to explain and to say sorry. But I couldn't, because she was there, gloating, so eager to bring my mistake to light. I felt ambushed, backed into a corner. Her smiling face was so hateful, so cunning. What strikes me, looking at it now, is that her friend is not even her concern. In her enthusiasm to set me up, she actually delighted in the pain that my actions had caused him. And as I watched her eyes sparkling with the taste of revenge, I chose to take her sense of schadenfreude away a little bit by denying what happened. I could not, in front of her, so thirsty to embarress me, admit to my mistake.
But I never forgot that I made a mistake, I never forgot my guilt. I left the party and immediately called Miss Lawrence. I admitted to my mistake and I apologized for hurting him. Like a true friend he listened and he was open to receiving my apology. He forgave me. For that I love him. He did not rejoice in seeing me stumble. He does not take malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others. For that I respect him.