What it's all about...

I am so excited to share with you the best weekend I have had in a long time. 

 

I was reunited with my girls, my Foster girls, and had the opportunity to talk with them, listen to them, hug them and be inspired by them. Each and every one of them was so courageous and strong.  The stories they shared were heartbreaking, the tears overflowing and my pride in their strength and perseverance, overwhelming. 

Joining me in spoiling the girls were so many wonderful ladies, all of them generous with their time and services and supportive of the girls.  There were notebooks, pajamas, jewelry, eye masks, skin care products, and of course glam sessions for each girl, hair, make-up and manicures.

Thank you, all of you young ladies, for reminding me what it's all about: that all that I have learned and all that I have gained is for me to share with you.  And thank you for the amazing team that made this day so successful!

Round II

I’m watching the debates tonight, nervous, anxious and looking for clues.  There are so many issues facing our country, but isn’t it interesting how you can just hear one thing that makes you really quiet, that makes you think and become concerned and it is the one thing that continues to have your focus?

For me, it is the role of government and the rights of women.  The thought of a future where the government can now make decisions for women, their bodies, their health and the direction of their lives.  This should always be a private decision, a family decision.  Many people who have benefited from this freedom are now the same ones who want to take it away for future generations.  I am going to stay focused tonight, knowing that a woman’s choice and her ability to have one, will guide my decisions on November 6. 

A Family Story Part III

Money has overshadowed my family.  Money given yesterday is forgotten about today.  There is never an effort by anyone to also help bring money in.  And so we are in a situation where a family of adult men and women finds itself without a single person with a job.  Only that it is my job to take care of everyone.

If you know me, you know how much I love my family, especially my nieces and nephews.  It was always standard and relied on in my family that I would plan and provide for my nieces and nephews' birthdays; that I would provide them with new clothes with every change of the season.  I have always spoiled them, loved them, given them. 

I wonder, when is it okay for me to take care of myself?  When do I get to enjoy the things I work for, the things I have earned?  I am not married, I do not have children, I only have myself and only myself to provide for my needs.  When will everyone feel they have gotten enough from Marlo?  When do I stop having the guilt?  When will they remember how much I have always done?

I miss my nieces and nephews, I feel sad that they sometimes get caught in the middle.  Family is where you should be able to find comfort - I will wait to find mine...Until then, God, my friends and of course fashion will do...

Why Glam It Up?

Of course you all know what Foster Care means to me - where I went at age 11, later finding a family that took me in and treated me as their own.  But I may not have talked about those experiences and why it still matters to me now.

It is hard to describe coming into a home with strangers and being a child, innocent, not in charge of yourself, and dependent on people you do not know.  As with me, it sometimes takes time to find the right Foster home.  It was only after the fourth one that I found a true home.  Not everyone takes in a child and is able to treat them as if they are their own.  I was sometimes treated as an outsider, at one home, I was not even allowed a house key.  And since you are often in Foster Care, for a brief period, you may not be taught the life lessons that you will need when you are on your own.

Foster care, can also be the first time that you feel truly loved and cared for - like having my foster mother come to school meetings and being there for me in every part of my life. 

I founded my Glam It Up series because I know what is missing in a young girl's life, when she is not with her own family, and I know how easy it can be to forget to believe in yourself and to dream.  As best I can, I want to try to fill in these gaps and help young girls dream. 

I can tell from all of your kind messages, that your hearts are in this as well and that you share the spirit of Glam It Up.  That too, inspires me...

 

Cinderella's Shoes

  Via Instagram

 

These were my first pair of Louboutins.  A present, from a gentleman friend.  I had until then, mostly worn Stuart Weitzman.  Louboutins were still a dream.  But then he came with my golden slippers, and with them, a door to a new life.  He wanted me to look beautiful for our date that evening.  He wanted me, like Cinderella, to feel transformed.  So he bought these for me and life was never the same.  I will always love them, my first Louboutins, for they represent the future I did not yet know I had...

Arrie Mae

Women's History Month has come to a close; I wanted to end it with my grandmother's story.  She is my Foster grandmother, but to me she's just my grandmother.  She did everything for me, never treating me any different than if I were her blood.  She and my grandfather, bought me my first car, a burgundy Plymouth Laser, then a new Honda Civic.  Later, when she thought my then boyfriend and I might get married, they bought me my first house. 

One thing that describes my grandmother is her immeasurable strength.  I remember her at my grandfather's funeral: many of us somber or breaking down, but she was poised, her posture only projected strength.  Even in that moment, the sense of always being able to count on her, was strong.  There was never any question that if you needed her, she would be there and that she was at every moment still the backbone of the family. 

After the funeral, as everyone started to leave, services having come to an end, my grandmother stayed by my grandfather's side. They had purchased two spaces in a mausoleum, to be buried side by side. We expected her to leave with us, and for my grandfather to be placed, after we left.  But she would not leave his side until she was sure that he was placed exactly where they had planned.  Only then, when she was certain that he was taken care of, was her work complete..

There are many things I can tell you about my grandmother.  She is 95, she is an Aquarius, she is a leader, she makes sound decisions, she is not wasteful - she even made her own clothes.  She is also the one you wanted to ride with if you were late for school - she would drop everything she was doing to make sure you got there fast and safe.  If you had an after school activity, she was always there - no questions asked.  My grandmother was a good wife, who has tremendous love for her family.  When my grandfather's sight failed him, she became his eyes.  She is patient. She is always understanding.

My grandmother has a quiet dignity, one that I hope to one day inherit.  She is an inspiration and she is my comfort.  She will forever have changed my life....

 

 

 

Old Bay & crab legs

Those of you who follow me on Twitter, will know one of the defining features of Marlo: my love for Old Bay Seasoning on everything, but particularly on crab.  The taste of it makes me feel comfort and joy and gratitude.  Valentino, Old Bay and crab legs - the perfect mix of moving forward but always keeping with me the comfort of home.  What is your favorite mix?

Story Telling...

  Viola Davis in Vera Wang (Via theYBF)

 

I know we all wanted it for Viola.  She brought to life this beautiful story about women and the incredible strength that we don't always know we have.  She made us feel the tragedies they faced and take pride in the dignity and unimaginable strength with which they endured.  We felt their triumph when they found their voice and stood up to adversity.

That just made my hair stand on end.  It made me reflect on the power of our voice and the tradition of story telling, especially in a time when doing so could have devastating consequences.  But story telling is our responsibility.  I know that I must tell my story to the young women who see in me hope, and through me dare to dream.  I owe to you the story of me and the ones that help me find my strength.  How timely then, as we are transitioning from Black to Women's History Month, that I have the opportunity to share it with you.

I wonder if you can guess who I will talk about first?!

 

 

Labels, Hair, Make-up, Joy

Photo by Pamela Mougin

 

This past week has given me pause.  This week I was forced to confront darkness and its sometimes catastrophic outcomes.  What is the impact of loneliness, fear, sadness and yearning, and how does what is bottled up inside manifest itself?  I thought about coping, searching for the light anywhere you can find it and what that means for me.

Clothes is where it started, but pretty things of all kinds would soon take over as family, and a connection to them, became more and more fleeting.  Pretty hair would follow clothes, then furniture and eventually a pretty home.  My family, or rather, various members of it, would at different times fall into drug addiction, nieces and nephews would follow into the foster care system, and love, the true kind, the kind I had searched for my whole life, never came.  More and more I needed to fill the emptiness, and cars and trips and expensive food and labels would have to make up for having less. Clothes were my refuge, clothes were what I could have, clothes had to fill the void where a mother and a father, a loving home, and a family should have been.

Even today, on a bad day - and there are still quite many - when I need to fill myself up, when I need to smile and feel what real happiness could be like, I walk into my closet.  That’s when I perk up and I feel grateful, for I do have many blessings and I do have a place to go that is pretty, filled with pretty things that when I put them on, make me feel good.  That’s when I feel everything will be okay.  It is how I cope, and it is how I try to help others cope.  Sometimes feeling pretty can be all you have and if that is so, then that is what I want to give to them.

Clothes are important to me and they lie at the core of who I am.  But I know that there will come a day when I will have the most precious label of all, one I have searched for my whole life, the one I will be most proud of.  One day, I will have a family and I will speak about them glowingly, I will show them off and I will go to them when I want to smile.  I can’t wait to see this design...

Travel & the Essentials....

What I love about travel is the change, the chance to experience something new, to temporarily forget where you are.  What I don't always love is the preparation, the stress.  Trying to get everything done by a certain time.  And packing!  Deciding what you need, what you can't live without, what is just too much.  I admit that not a lot fell in the too-much-pile when I packed for South Africa!  But here is what I do when I want to keep it simple...

Top: A grey James Pearse t-shirt is perfect for layering and grey is almost neutral.

Bottom: black Wolford leggings are great for underneath chunky knit sweaters or an oversized blazer and of course so comfortable on a flight.

Jeans: distressed Joe's skinny jeans are versatile and easily dressed up.  I love them with very tall heels.

Evening: It's easy to pack a stretchy black dress, something fitted with long sleeves when it's cold.  I also love how a cropped military jacket with skinny jeans can give a little edge but still be sexy.

Intimates: I like a one piece even better than a top and bottom.  A little bit of lace...I prefer black, but sometimes I find something really beautiful in a dark jewel tone and I love it.

Coat: It's winter and there's a chance of rain.  A Gryphon trench with a leopard print belt is almost like a dress by itself.

Hand Bag: Obsessing over Victoria Beckham's bags, but for now I rotate my classics, black or beige.

Shoes: Heels of course, Brian Atwood, always a little unusual.

Accessories: A long triple strand of pearls has been my stand-by for years, but I have been eyeing Kelly Wearstler's accessories, reminiscent of her design aesthetic.

Watch:  Presidential Rolex in gold.

Glasses: Oliver Peoples, large frames.

Scent: Always Clive Christian.

My lip: Mac "snob," this pink can be worn casually with a little gloss or matte for a red carpet look.

This is my simple, easy, routine.  What is yours?