Hey Divas and Divos!
It’s time for Marlo Mondays and today we’re going deep! I told you that I’ll be using my blog as a platform to talk about anything and everything, including the topics and ideas you all send me. Ya’ll have some interesting things you want to talk about, but as long as it’s not too inappropriate, (you know I have to keep it clean for my little “Glam girls”) I’m game! This week I’m going to answer another question that I get all the time. Fortunately, this one isn’t rude and I think my answer may help somebody who’s in or has been in my same situation. So, here goes… A diva sent me this question:
How do you believe in yourself when others don’t? How do you stay true to who you are?
That’s a good one. The truth is, we all have insecurities that mess with our self-esteem and self-worth. I’ve shared my history of being a felon (although that debt was paid a long time ago), being abused as a child, being in foster care, dealing with a mother who was a substance abuser which ultimately led to foster care for me and my siblings. I shared it, so that these blemishes won’t forever be my shame.
During the time when I was being shuttled from one house to the next, feeling like no one wanted me, I had to find something to embrace to give my life worth and value. Something that was truly special about me. I chose fashion. Not only did I choose to find my beauty in beautiful things, especially clothes, I used it to protect myself from the stigmas associated with incarceration, or being in foster care. I used it to make myself valuable to myself and others. I used it to soothe my pain because it was something I was good at and at least I had this platform to stand on when those around me said I was worthless.
Then, God blessed me with a foster grandmother who showed me love. I can never thank you enough Arrie Holmes and I'll love you forever! She gave me real love and acceptance by making sure I was no longer an unwanted child, shuttled from foster home to foster home. She told me how much God loves me and her belief in me became my belief in me. She also helped me understand that the opinions of others should not be the ruler I use to measure my self-worth. Those who sought to destroy me did not create me, so they had no power over me. She helped me understand that truth so it’s that spirit ya’ll saw on the RHOA or the I Dream of NeNe Wedding show and it’s who I am. I now know my worth and refuse to let anyone compromise how I feel about me ever again. And yes, I have my low days when I’m not this tower of confidence just like everyone else. But then I remember who I am and whose I am, (a child of God) so my haters can't use my past indiscretions, mistakes or consequences against me. That’s how I keep my head up. I believe God created me to be and do great things, so if nobody believes in me, I know He does and no other opinion matters. That’s how I believe in myself and that’s how I keep it real every day, all day. That’s also why I don’t forget where I came from. My past experiences helped shape who I am now, and I am above no one. I’m getting my hustle on just like you divas and divos and I never ever forget that.
We are all created for a great purpose no matter what we’ve done or how many times we have failed. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
I hope this answers the question.