When it's time to walk away...

Marlo Mondays Ya’ll! And it’s time to talk about what’s really real.

 I’ve been feeling some way lately about how the people in my life, family, friends and so-called friends feel they are entitled to a piece of my pie that they neither helped buy nor bake.

 Many stories have been told about those who forget where they came from on the way up, only to be reminded on their fall from grace. However, that’s not what I’m talking about today. I’m sure we’ve all had problems with friends, family and so-called friends who ride your coattails to the top, but won’t break a sweat or lift a finger to pursue their own dreams and goals because they are too busy telling you what you should be doing FOR THEM now that they think you’re on the come up. I’m all for helping those who knew me before the spotlight, have always kept it real and don’t act like I owe them anything. Those who were and are truly happy for me and sincerely want to see me succeed, to them I say Thank You!

 On the flip side, the selfish, lazy asses who always want a hand out, who always expect me to pick up the check, who always want to walk in my shoes, sometimes literally, but have no respect for the blood, sweat and tears that got me to this stage in my life, these are the ones I must walk away from in order to save my sanity.

 That’s what I’m telling you Divas and Divos, walk away from toxic people. Walk away from leeches and cling-ons because once they have sucked the life out of you, they will move on to the next one and won’t look back nor extend a hand to help you. My mama told me about those “smiling faces” telling lies. They show big smiles on the outside, pretending to be happy for you, but frown on the inside, hoping you fail. (Wink wink, you know who you are…)

 Honestly, no one really knows what it’s like to be Marlo. If you only see the Loubotins and labels, pictures and parties, you’ll probably think I have it made, but I don’t. The truth is, every day I’m hustling! Every day I’m grinding. Every day I remember where I came from and what I’ve lived through and I’m not trying to go back. So, I work. I use what I have and what I know to make a better today, every day for myself and if I can do it so can you.

 I’m finally realizing that there are some people who can’t go where I’m going. It’s not that I don’t love them. I love my family and real friends with all my heart. But sometimes, the glitter and the gold can blind people and they no longer see you, they see dollar signs and the champagne life which is always a lie. Everybody has something going on in their lives that money and fame can’t fix. I’m not rich or famous but even at this stage in my life I see that the publicity changes perceptions. Even those closest to you, who should know better, seem blind sometimes or maybe they just don’t give a… (rhymes with duck).

Through my blogs I try to share the real me each week, however, this slice of my life does not really tell my whole story. No one knows what it’s like to live in my world or walk in my shoes but me. So, I’m going to have to learn that I can help who I can help, when I can help, but I don’t owe anyone anything. Hard as it may be sometimes you just have to let go and let God. Blow them a kiss, wish them well, let those Loubotins serve their purpose and walk away. It’s advice I’m finally taking myself.

 Til next week Divas and Divos. Smooches!

 Marlo

Starting Over...

It’s Monday and that means it’s time for a new conversation just between us Divas and Divos!

Keep the topics and questions coming… You’re keeping me focused as I continue working on my hustle.

This week let’s talk about getting past your past… How many times have we all had to start over or wish we could press a “do over” button when we hit rock bottom? I don’t need to rehash all of the times this diva needed to start over, but I’m going to share some of my experiences to help you get through yours.

When I was younger and dumber, (and yes I can admit that I was young and dumb) I made a lot of mistakes and bad decisions. From running with the wrong crowds to believing that I was owed something because I ended up in foster care. I was rebellious, disrespectful and selfish. However, no good came from any of that, only consequences that continue to haunt me to this day.

Because of my past, doors are not always open to me. Because I have a criminal record, opportunities are not always given to me. People who don’t even know me judge me for what I did decades ago and I have to keep reminding myself that I am not my past. Every day I succeed and put more distance between my current situation and my past, there is someone who refuses to let me forget it. It’s like I have to start over every time I wake up and that is discouraging some days but exhausting every day! Believe me.

So, when you have to start over, the best thing you can do is remember Who you are and Whose you are. (You are an amazing child of God!) Starting over isn’t the scariest part. It’s not knowing what will happen that feeds our fears most. Don’t worry about any of that… Just start over even if you have to do it afraid!

I had to start over every time I was moved to a new foster home, until Grandma Holmes kept me. I had to start over each time I was released from incarceration until I decided I was not going back so I wouldn’t have to be released again. I had to start over every time a relationship ended. And guess what? Start over I did with a new outlook. I now anticipate new experiences and I’m better because of it.

My only advice when you’re faced with the daunting task of starting over is to just do it! You won’t know what you’re capable of doing until you’re willing to keep moving forward. Every great life experience has a starting point so wipe the dust off your shoulders, lift your head and don’t walk, strut into your next chapter like the divas and divos you are.

Marlo did it and so can you.

 Muah!