Marlo Monday's: New York… The City of Dreams!

Divas and Divos… What day is it? It’s Marlo Mondays!!! And this Diva is turned up!

 I spent the weekend in New York. A city I’ve grown to love because it’s true, if you have a dream, New York City is the place to pursue it. And it’s like Mr. Sinatra said,” if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.” So New York is now my 2^nd home, but don’t sleep, St. Petersburg, Fla is not too shabby either.  Some of the most successful brothers and sisters in show business call it home. The beautiful Angela Basset is from there... Former Middleweight Champion, Winky Wright is too. My childhood friend, the extremely talented Will Packer, movie producer extraordinaire was born and raised there, and so was Ms. Marlo herself. 

Before I go any further I want to give a huge shout out to Will Packer to congratulate him on the success of his latest movie, Think Like a Man Too. I attended the premier at the American Black Film Festival, (ABFF) this past weekend and I laughed, cried and then laughed til I cried.  It was funny, sweet and just well done so kudos to the entire cast and a big thanks to the founder of the ABFF, Jeff Friday who created this platform to showcase black films and filmmakers.

 On the subject of dreams… Will is an awesome dreamer who wasn’t satisfied with dreaming only – so he went after what he dreamt about and now look at him. He’s one of the reasons that I decided to talk about the power of realizing dreams today. Will, Angela, Winky and countless others have proven that Nothing is Impossible and it doesn’t matter where you came from. If you can dream it, then you can do it. (Yeah R.Kelly! You told us to believe we can fly!) You have to believe in yourself, and to me, that’s what New York City represents. It’s filled with people with big dreams who may have come from small towns like me, but made their way to New York, to make them come true. No one ever imagined a little brown girl like me, from country-bunkin St. Petersburg, Florida with my history and record would end up rubbing elbows with the talented and famous in New York City, while pursuing My dreams. So the message for all my divas and divos is this, NEVER give up on yourself. It doesn’t matter what your situation looks like right now, we were all created to do great things. If you can dream, then know that dreams come to inspire you. I’m living proof that anything is possible so don’t give up because I’m not. #everydayI’mhustling.

 On another note, let me tell you what happened to me on my way to New York… You may want to take a seat for this! 

I was flying Delta, First Class to New York when a rat (or mouse – what difference does it make? It was a nasty little rodent), decided to run across my foot. WTH? I couldn’t believe it… but you know what was worse? The flight attendant tried to convince me that it was more afraid of me than I should have been of him. (Really lady?) And then she had the nerve to ask me did I want something to eat? Seriously? Absolutely not! Didn’t she see that the rat ran towards the galley (aka kitchen area)?  I want nothing to eat or drink on this plane. At that point, all I did want was to get off!

 Then last but not least…

While driving down 34^th Street we were rear ended by a yellow cab! I got a busted lip, had my first encounter with New York’s Finest and hadn’t even been there 24 hours. It was an experience that could only happen in New York City! Now I’m down in sunny South Beach recuperating from my trip. Rest, relaxation, bikinis and cocktails are just what the doctor ordered.  

Be sure to log in next Monday divas and dios, I’ve got some tea to spill. Til then… Smooches!

Marlo

Family… Can’t live with ‘em and you’ll go to jail for killing ‘em

A diva asked me how I feel about family and did I want kids of my own. Well, Marlo loves the kids and if it’s in the cards for me, I hope to have a family of my own. I have lots of nieces and nephews that I’m very close to and LOVE!

And, family is very, very important to me, even though they can get on your nerves. 

My family, both biological and foster, are a hawt mess! There is never a dull day with any of them and honestly, there are days when I’d like to divorce them. (I’m sure they feel the same about me too – we all crazy!) But, I love them for life and thank God for them.

We don’t get to choose who we’re related to and sometimes I think Ashton is going to jump out and yell “you just got punked” after the DNA test says I am indeed kin to some of my relatives, (raised eyebrow and side eye!). But I’m sure there are many people with no family who wish they had my crazies! So, while I don’t always love how we act toward each other, I do always love them. Family is forever!

Ta-ta Divas and Divos… Til next week, smooches!

Marlo

Marlo Monday's: Fitness, Mind, Body & Spirit

Marlo Mondays in effect Divas & Divos! Let’s have a little fun with the question this week okay???

A diva asked, “How I stay in shape?” Well, fitness is not just about the body. I’m a southern girl and we are thick! Where I’m from, you need a little junk in your trunk if you want to keep your boo! Lol… But I have a little advice for ya’ll, if you want to live a long, full and active life. We gotta watch what we say, make sure you don’t forget to give thanks when we pray and remember you are what you eat!

Yes, this girl loves some cornbread, mac & cheese and fried, (insert some food that had parents! Lol) but I learned that everything in moderation is best. The same holds true for your mind. If your mind has no peace, neither does anything else in your life. So, we have to filter the stress – keep it in moderation. Life is going to happen to all of us, and some days will be harder than others, but if we keep the faith and live each day filled with gratitude, no matter how bad your situation looks, (and ya’ll know this girl had many days of bad situations) we will be physically and mentally fit.

I learned a long time ago, divas and divos that my body is a temple, if I take care of it, it will take care of me. I eat better than I used to, I juice a lot and I am a beast in the gym, on the treadmill, doing resistance training, on the elliptical machine, taking classes. I fully utilize my gym membership and when I’m feeling lazy, I get some help in the form of a trainer. However, the most important workout in my life is the effort it takes to put God first. I don’t have a miracle tip or new fad to share with you. A great body takes work, commitment, patience and faith. That’s how I do it, and I promise you – you can too!

Be confident.

Marlo

Marlo Monday's! How do you believe in yourself when others don’t?

Hey Divas and Divos!

It’s time for Marlo Mondays and today we’re going deep! I told you that I’ll be using my blog as a platform to talk about anything and everything, including the topics and ideas you all send me. Ya’ll have some interesting things you want to talk about, but as long as it’s not too inappropriate, (you know I have to keep it clean for my little “Glam girls”) I’m game! This week I’m going to answer another question that I get all the time. Fortunately, this one isn’t rude and I think my answer may help somebody who’s in or has been in my same situation. So, here goes… A diva sent me this question:

How do you believe in yourself when others don’t?   How do you stay true to who you are?

That’s a good one. The truth is, we all have insecurities that mess with our self-esteem and self-worth. I’ve shared my history of being a felon (although that debt was paid a long time ago), being abused as a child, being in foster care, dealing with a mother who was a substance abuser which ultimately led to foster care for me and my siblings. I shared it, so that these blemishes won’t forever be my shame.

During the time when I was being shuttled from one house to the next, feeling like no one wanted me, I had to find something to embrace to give my life worth and value. Something that was truly special about me. I chose fashion. Not only did I choose to find my beauty in beautiful things, especially clothes, I used it to protect myself from the stigmas associated with incarceration, or being in foster care. I used it to make myself valuable to myself and others. I used it to soothe my pain because it was something I was good at and at least I had this platform to stand on when those around me said I was worthless.

Then, God blessed me with a foster grandmother who showed me love. I can never thank you enough Arrie Holmes and I'll love you forever! She gave me real love and acceptance by making sure I was no longer an unwanted child, shuttled from foster home to foster home. She told me how much God loves me and her belief in me became my belief in me. She also helped me understand that the opinions of others should not be the ruler I use to measure my self-worth. Those who sought to destroy me did not create me, so they had no power over me. She helped me understand that truth so it’s that spirit ya’ll saw on the RHOA or the I Dream of NeNe Wedding show and it’s who I am. I now know my worth and refuse to let anyone compromise how I feel about me ever again. And yes, I have my low days when I’m not this tower of confidence just like everyone else. But then I remember who I am and whose I am, (a child of God) so my haters can't use my past indiscretions, mistakes or consequences against me. That’s how I keep my head up. I believe God created me to be and do great things, so if nobody believes in me, I know He does and no other opinion matters. That’s how I believe in myself and that’s how I keep it real every day, all day. That’s also why I don’t forget where I came from. My past experiences helped shape who I am now, and I am above no one. I’m getting my hustle on just like you divas and divos and I never ever forget that.

We are all created for a great purpose no matter what we’ve done or how many times we have failed. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

I hope this answers the question.

Marlo

Marlo's Dating Rules

 

 

 

I am often asked, how it is I get what I want in my relationships.  It is not very difficult, it starts with loving yourself first! And not being afraid of who you are and your expectations.  After that, you must set a few rules for yourself, rules that you do not ever bend on.

A closed mouth does not get fed:

A woman should not be afraid to ask for what she wants, a man never is...

I can do bad all by myself:

A relationship with a man should be a step forward, never one of staying in the same place or God forbid, going backwards...

Set rules from day one, a man only does what you allow him to do:
It is important to let your expectations be known early, imposing rules later never works...

 

If he meets you and you are 5 stars how can he treat you like 2 stars?

 Present yourself in the way you would like to be treated.

The man needs to take the initiative:

Sigh, what is more unattractive than a man who cannot lead?

Respect is a must:

Respect yourself and demand respect, plain and simple...

No lying, there is no such thing as “the little white lie”. Trust is very important!

Do not accept lies, nothing good happens from there on...

If a man I meet is not someone I can expect to do the above then unfortunately, he is not the man for me.

 

Ask Marlo

 

Balancing business and personal matters, can be difficult when becoming a public figure.  You want to connect with the people that support you and maintain the relationships with those who were always there.  I have loved the way my followers relate to me, understand me and want to connect with me on a more personal basis.  Many have shared their own difficult stories, thanking me for sharing mine, and finding comfort in knowing they are not alone.  But when I am asked for a meeting or more often financial help, for me the connection then breaks.

Friendships and relationships are not meant to be forced; friendships grow and mature over time, naturally, genuinely.  A connection has to be mutual, both sides wanting it, and both sides patiently building it.  I do understand being in a difficult space in life and needing the comfort of someone who has been there, someone that you may admire.  I understand seeking advice and kind words.

As best I can, I try to provide that.  From time to time, as with my Thanksgiving turkey and Mother's Day giveaway, I do more and try to give more.  But understand, the needs are overwhelming, the requests for help more than what I alone can reciprocate. Friendship, time, and money are limited for everyone.  For each of them, we have to wait and let them happen only when they can...

 

 

Image by Forkparty

A Wonderful Mother's Day

  Daniel, Emma & Me

 

I had the best experience the other day.  With the help of the Frank and Wanda morning show, I was able to make two mothers very happy.  You often hear people say how rewarding it is to give, and I experience that joy every time.  It makes me grateful to be able to give and reminds me of my many blessings. 

We asked for women to tell us their stories and why they should win a beautiful handbag from me. We heard from mothers with special needs children, being role models by going to school full time, yet being devoted mothers and great wives.  Their husbands appreciating and admiring them. 

There were single mothers tending to sick children, unable to finish their own education, unable to take out time for a date, always taking care of others.  There were single mothers, struggling with their own illness, troubled children, never even having the time to cope, barely able to see their way through. 

There were magnificent women, strong women, devoted women, women finding strength when all of their resources are failing them.  I was so inspired and moved,  grateful that they would share their stories with me.  I want to thank you, all of you mothers, for all that you do for your families and all that you do to remind me everyday of the gifts we all have.  Thank you for allowing me to share a little piece of me with you.  I hope I made you smile...

Confidence

I wanted to share with you a letter I recently got from someone who is trying to find herself.  She said she had survived a number of setbacks, both physically and emotionally.  She said she could not yet see the light.  I was so moved by that.  There are many people like you out there, not knowing how to make that first step.

The first step is to look in the mirror and to tell yourself, you love yourself.  You don't just do this once, it is your first step every single day.  Second, do not underestimate the power of God and the power of faith.  Anytime I go to church, or read my bible I find meaning and strength in the word. 

Third, it has always helped me to feel better when I look better.  Taking care of yourself, especially during difficult times, is important!  This does not mean spend money.  It means, put on your best dress, style your hair as best you can, make an effort to look the best you can.  You have to believe in you before anyone else can.

Putting yourself in surroundings that make you happy is also important.  For me that is being with children. Last year, some friends and I rented a big van and took their children to a cabin in the mountains.  We cooked, we laughed, we played, we had a great time.  It gave me the comfort of family - that closeness and togetherness that I love so much. 

These are the things I draw strength from.  I wish for you, who wrote to me, and all of you facing difficult times, that you might take some of these and start to create and live a better life!  We are all so much stronger than we know...